A Random Brainfart
by Hilarity J. Blinkstein
Hi, I'm Hilarity (Hi, Hilarity), and it's been two weeks since my last
coherent thought. As it happens, I'm insane. Looney, raving, madder than Ed
Anger. I figured this out after mind-bending amounts of therapy and buckets of
money trying to get a grip, trying to quiet the voices in my head, be
still my bleating brain. And I shed a ton of tears, had several cows, and
generally was ready to write ``Hell'' on my change-of-address forms, so involved
was I in that life-long quest for that psychological Holy Grail -- Sanity.
Sanity will make everything okay, won't it? Once I'm sane, the answers will
be clear, I'll finally be happy, I'll finally get respect, right? Better seats
in restaurants, birds singing, banners flapping in the wind, right?
Boy, are you stupid if you buy that. Sanity's a crock. Sanity can bite me if
it could find me, which it can't. Sanity is the Greyface of the Psyche. You
spend all this effort taking your brain so seriously. Like it's some big
profound mystical thing. You know what? It is. The human mind is vast and
chaotic and unexplainable and wonderful. Why on Earth would you want to
stifle all that glorious chaos by trying to label it? To figure out why blue
is your favourite colour or why you have dreams about having sex with your
cocker spaniel? Baby, take what you got and run with it. Stop fighting the
parts of your brain that make you think you're crazy -- embrace them!
They don't hate you -- they just want a better rap and some attention. Take
them out for a drive on Sundays. Ride with the top down. Take all that energy
you spend trying to take your id and instead teach it to play hopscotch.
Boing, boing, boing. Sanity as a virtue is a BIG LIE, capital letters. To
Hell with the cerebrum -- listen to your
(It will probably kick in by default after you stay up for two days reading
Do whatever you want. Be sane, be insane, be-bop-a-luva. It's all relative
anyway. Everyone thinks you're crazy? What do they know, and why do they
think ``Power Rangers'' is art? Chaos and Discord are as beautiful within as
they are without. Remember, if you take the ``U'' out of ``Freud,'' you get
``Fred,'' which must mean something. Stop being afraid of what you might find if
you strip away your rationality. Boldly go etcetera etcetera! Rip the fabric
of your own reality and make yourself a sweater. Your brain does not hate
you. And if it does -- fuck it. It's yours. Make friends with it, tickle
its fancy, take it dancing. Practice brain-erosion.
are second cousins, or at least they both start with an ``E.'' Entropy will
take care of itself. Burn the field so the grass can grow, but let it grow
any way it wants, weeds and all.
Love (or at least appreciate) everything for what it is. And if you can't
figure out what it is, don't
worry about it. Go from having a
to having a
It's much more fun.
You are a miracle. You are unique and wondrous and generally silly. Let go.
Become. Be. Hail Eris.