Lord Omar's Letter Doctoring Mr. Heath
Dear Dr. Heath:
Yes, doctor! Your thesis that the Discordian Society cannot be opposed to
your organization in particular because it is opposed to all organization in
general, instead, has earned you a Doctorate in Divinity Fudge from the Jim
Jones University of Sanctified Segregation, Elmer Gantry College of Scriptural
Your brilliant discovery of a new principle of logic -- Mutual Exclusion
Between the Specific and the General -- represents a long-needed breakthrough
in our efforts to justify the ways of Eris Discordia to humanity, and will be
the foundation of a whole new system of theology which, I am honored to say,
will be named after you.
You have my permission to call yourself henceforth and forever a Professor of
Unique Reasoning and to put DDF after your name on all occasions, and I have
moreover included a number of documents, including two blank certificates, so
that you can orient and welcome yourself into the Discordian Society and the
Legion of Dynamic Discord -- if you so choose.
If you don't so choose, we will draft you into our Society and will bill you
presently for dues -- equal to the amount Christine D. Tobey is forced against
her will to pay to the CSEA.
May Goddess continue to bless the wonderful convolutions in your most eristic
(look it up; it's in the dictionary) brain.
Hail Eris! Right Reverend Doctor Jesse Sump, Ancient Abbreviated Calif of
California. All Hail Discordia!