ENHANCEMENT THROUGH SHEEP-BY-MAIL
Pope Icky Fundament, PZK
Department of Operation: Brainfährt
Saint Ruminant Eweniversity, Order of the Blunted Sword
KEYWORDS: SHEEP; MEXICO; GARANIMALS; ANARCHY; PFFT
This paper discusses an actual case study of an individual subjected to
a Guerrilla Surrealist attack. While no definitive ego-destruction
ensued, this is largely due to uncontrollable variables entering the
experiment. In future experiments it is hoped that such problems might
be avoided. Despite this, however, we feel sure that the subject would
have cracked wide open had the assault been carried through to its full
One (1) mail system (in this case interoffice; this does not sacrifice
One (1) unwitting subject
One (1) writing implement
Two hundred three (203) plain white envelopes
Two hundred three (203) sheep-shaped erasers
- Number the sheep-shaped erasers from 1 to 203 using the writing
- Place the sheep-shaped erasers separately in the 203 plain white
(It is of utmost importance that the experimenter keep these envelopes in
the numerical order of the enclosed sheep. For those of you with less than
two fingers of forehead, this may be quite difficult.)
- Carefully write the address of the unwitting subject on each of the
plain white envelopes.
- Mail one plain-white-envelope-enclosed sheep-shaped eraser per day to
unwitting subject, starting with the one numbered ``203'' and working down.
We mailed approximately fifty sheep-shaped erasers to our unwitting subject
before he closed down his mailbox. Due to shoddy record-keeping, the
subject failed to receive particular numbers in the countdown sequence.
(This provoked a very amusing response in the subject as they attempted
to determine what those missing numbers might mean: a phone number, an
exit on the local interstate, an address, and so on. More experimentation
on this aspect of the experiment may be warranted, as it is a wonderful
example of attempting to impose order on chaos.)
Paranoia was evinced by the subject, who began to suspect anyone and
everyone of sending him these mysterious sheep. We were truly curious about
the subject's reaction, not upon receiving the first sheep, but on receiving
the second sheep -- and realizing that there were 201 more sheep to
come. However, no reliable testimony pertaining to this has been uncovered.
We do know, though, that the subject actually went as far as to call their
ex-significant others to find out if they were coming out to the local
mail drop to interoffice mail the subject numbered sheep-shaped erasers --
and making this trip daily.
After the subject's mailbox was closed down, the subject was incredibly
circumspect about their new address -- so circumspect, in fact, that we
were forced to end the experiment.
Further experiments on this topic are encouraged.