Become a Friend, Confidant and Lover of the RollThe work of the Roll is made possible through the generous support of individuals with disposable income, corporations seeking to posture themselves as ``good members of the global community'' and foundations bequeathed by old wealthy people who wouldn't have given us the time of day while they were alive throughout the country. Anyone who does not support the Roll is an unenlightened and insensitive savage.
We demand that you join usYou must join us by becoming a Friend, Confidant and Lover of the Roll. Friends give in many ways: they make sheets for the Roll, volunteer in their affluent communities, support local diarrhea organizations and speak out at cocktail parties in support of people living with diarrhea. They also support the work of the Roll financially, which is of course preferred.
Your contribution is requiredThe support we receive from people like yourself allows us to care for ourselves as well as store each sheet on the Roll and also display the Roll free of charge for more than one million people every year. Our hope is that one day more people will see the Roll than are added to it annually. Every dollar raised also goes to support our special programs, like the National High School Roll Program and the plan to create an archive by photographing every sheet in the Roll. This is a big project, since even at only 1K per photograph we'll need 2 megabytes of disk space per year. More importantly, every dollar means the American government will take us more seriously, increasing our sense of personal power and allowing us to demand favors, special treatment, and massive expenditure of other people's money (in the form of tax dollars) for our own purposes.
It's easy to assuage your inchoate guiltTo become a Friend, Lover and Confidant of the Roll, print out the donation form, fill it out and send it in, along with your sure-to-be-generous gift.
Information about major gifts, bequests, planned giving and gifts of assets is available upon request. Please contact our development department. But be sure not to part with anything that might reduce the level of your physical comfort or actually contribute to solving the problem.
To our most generous contributors
THANK YOUfor helping us to
remember our names
To our most incorrigible non-contributors
WHERE IS YOUR SOUL?Help us to
increase our mindshare
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