The Summoning of K'Hyl Ruoi the Omnipresent

Sigil of K'Hyl Ruoi
First, grave ye the Sigil of K'Hyl Ruoi upon a slab of elderly Velveeta which hath lain in the the fridge for not less than threescore days past its listed `Best If Used By' date. Use for the graving a heel of stale bread, whose greater part hath been consumed upon a Tuesday and hath lain in its original bag until the sunset of the following Tuesday.

A sandwich is then to be made of the Velveeta and the heel of bread, and each participant must consume a bite. Softening by dipping in cold coffee, which hath been prepared at dawn and left in its mug until the sun doth begin its decline, is allowable.

As each member eats of the Sandwich, the others are to perform the Gesture of False Flatulence, as follows:

1. 2. 3.
Raise both arms into the air, forming a great Why? with your body. Place the left hand under the right arm (High Initiates may put their hand inside their robe) Clench the right fist and bring your arm down sharply, as if pulling the Emergency break on a New York City subway train.

After each participant hath eaten, the following Formula is to be repeated until it hath been inflicted upon no fewer than 1000 people -- in this Great Age, thou mayest seek out old jokes on Usenet and followeth them up, cross-posting to any group that hath `humor,' `joke,' `funny,' or `alt' in its title:

The last time I
heard that one,
I laughed so hard that
I fell off my
dinosaur and
broke my newspaper!

Öy! Öy! K'Hyl Ruoi wuz here!

Öy! Öy! K'Hyl Ruoi wuz here!