There is perhaps only one man who has ever lived who has given up
everything for his Joke (the Apostles don't count -- they didn't know
they were kidding). That man is
Saint Andrew, Martyr of the Missed
Saint Andrew appeared on the scene sometime around 1989, and Lo!
did Saint Andrew perpetrate a Mighty Joke, whose humor was too
subtle in its screaming audacity and thus was its Jokedom Missed
and Misunderstood in the Realm of Thud, and Lo again! did the
Thuddite Hordes flatten the career of Saint Andrew, whose Great
Joke did maketh him a Demon to some and a Role Model to the
Italians (who didst miss entirely his Jewish Monicker). And Lo once
more! did Saint Andrew yet stand proud upon his Great Joke, and rode it
into the Maelstrom of Public Disapproval with All Colors Flying, and did
sink without a trace. And the Few, the Proud, the People With Three
Fingers of Forehead, did mourn his passing, for they saw his Great Joke,
made Greater by its force and subtlety, and knew it was Funny.
After a period of months, Saint Andrew resurfaced from the Dark Lands of
Anonymity, having seemingly jettisoned his Great Joke in favor of the
sitcom stereotype of the tough-guy-with-a-heart-of-gold dad. It did seem
that Saint Andrew had sold out (at the least, it seemed so to the
maintainer of the
Unofficial Andrew Dice Clay Home Page).
Thus must it seem to the Uninitiated, who, though they might have known
him to be a Saint, have failed to notice his Martyrdom. Those with the
eyes to see know that, rather than subjecting himself to the possibly
insurmountable temptation to renounce his Great Joke, Saint Andrew has
chosen to run himself through with the venomous Sword of the Mediocre Sitcom,
guaranteeing that he has suffered the Final
Comedic Death and can
never renounce his Great Joke.
For this sacrifice, we honor the Memory of Saint Andrew, Martyr of the
Missed Joke, and visit his gravesite with teary eyes though his body doth
yet walk the World. And we sit praying for his Rebirth (and a Rebirth
would it truly be, though it taketh place in the same Flesh), and hope that
Saint Andrew might walk amongst us again.
Hail Eris, Amen, Pass the Hot-Dog Buns.